Emotional intelligence is even more decisive to professional success than logical or verbal intelligence. How to develop this critical capability?
Be attentive to the impact of your own emotions
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Practice identifying your emotions. Watch for non-verbal signals in particular, e.g. Agitation, accelerated heart rate or respiration, change in pace of speech or tone of voice, etc.
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Observe the reactions triggered by your emotions. Being conscious of these behaviors will help you manage them more effectively.
Connect emotionally with your counterparts
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Listen not only to what your counterparts are saying, but also to the feelings they express, e.g. Tone of voice, attitude, facial expressions, gestures, etc.
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Demonstrate empathy and show others that you take account of their feelings. To do this, adopt a positive mindset and assume that your counterparts are justified in feeling the way they do.
Take action
Identify your emotions (10 min)
Our emotions influence our actions. Being aware of them enables you to take advantage of them in a positive manner.
Strive during the week to pay attention to your emotions. At what moments do you feel fear, joy, anger, sadness, etc.?
What are the physical signs that reveal these emotions? What can you focus on, in the future, to become more rapidly aware of the emergence of these emotions? E.g. butterflies, agitation, accelerated heart rate, high-pitched voice, etc.
What reactions do these emotions generate? What traps must you avoid when spotting these emotions? E.g. excessive optimism when feeling joyful, scattered hyperactivity in the event of fear, etc.
Step back to analyze your perception of a conflict situation (10 min)
In the event of a disagreement, our “fighting” reactions prevent us from perceiving the situation with objectivity.
Try and anticipate an upcoming occasion for facing a critic. Set yourself the objective of stepping back from your spontaneous reaction.
Strive to distinguish what stems from facts, and what from interpretation? E.g.: I see him agitated, frowning (facts). He is angry / upset with me (interpretation).
When an interpretation comes to mind, ask yourself what else could be possible. E.g.: He is tired, he doesn’t understand one of the points that has been made, he just had a stormy meeting with his boss, etc.
Try to interpret the situation in a more positive manner than you did on impulse. E.g., there is nothing telling me that he has decided to ignore my point of view; his disagreement might stem from priorities that are different from mine, which I will seek to better understand.
Play on emotions to trigger action (15 min)
Our emotions are our best source of energy.
Share an anecdote or an experience with your team to make them want to get involved or to move into action. E.g.: the story of a client who bounces back in a difficult situation, a personal anecdote on a failure that taught you a lot, a successful experience with a competitor or partner, etc.
Make sure you structure your story to “attract” your audience! Set the scene, provide details, include developments and changes in pace: your objective is to make your audience feel the emotions of the story’s protagonists.
Let your counterparts draw by themselves the lessons of the story. It is by taking in the emotions prompted by your story that they will move into action.
Practical Tips
> Use your emotions as incentives to action
> Avoid common interpersonal communication traps
Find out more
> Develop the various components of your emotional intelligence
> Managing your mental resources: an essential skill for any leader